title ladidi ladida
Something has been bothering me lately.
I must admit that I’m a very fickle minded, lalang person. In other words, I just do not know what I want.
Of course, there is the long list of ’I Want’ but those are the things that I can live without even if I don’t have them. For example, getting a first class hons in my degree. I was sincerely happy when I received my second upper even though it wasn’t exactly what I aimed for at the start.
But when I do set my mind on something, regardless of importancy, the effort and time spent and the distance I would go to achieve it is very erm…out of the norm or surprising if I may say so myself.
And then comes hope –> pressure –> possibility of failure –> emotional moments. Bah.
Though the sad part doesn’t really occur/ last long cause I either get what I want or it was not a big thing. Sometimes, even when I do fail, the experiences gained from the whole process was something I am happy about 
This time it’s kinda different. I’m not sure if I can achieve it and failure is not an option. The pressure is so overwhelming that I find it hard to sleep at night when usually it takes seconds for me to doze off. So now I’m giving it another 3 or 6 months depending on circumstances and see how it goes because I’m so not ready for it yet.
Lauren said,
14 December, 2008 at 4:55 am
khor yen, what happened?? T______T
and are u always appearng offline or you dont online at all? i seldom see u on msn.
Soon Seng said,
14 December, 2008 at 6:17 pm
wow.. sounds pretty serious.. Ok ker, you?
Maybe more cake might help.
Joyce said,
15 December, 2008 at 2:40 am
yalor what happened? T____T I’ve not talked to you for like 1092483953 days already wei…
Yenli said,
15 December, 2008 at 11:13 pm
don’t ask me about it yet. will tell when the time comes k <3
lauren: it’s online 24/7 cause downloading stuff. but i’m usually around before and after bed lor.
liping said,
26 December, 2008 at 5:00 am
are you worried about work? cause i think u’ll probably enjoy working once u find the right place… so slowly find lar dont stress about it….